So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
