i barfeds in our rink
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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