I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
