i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
