using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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