I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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