In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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