we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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