four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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