I think im going to throw up on grandma
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize