Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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