Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
