problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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