hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize