you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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