apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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