Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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