Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
