I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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