Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
