my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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