Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She's the barista slut.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
