I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize