Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
