My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's blow job season.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
