i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize