Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
