he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
