i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
