All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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