Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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