1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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