It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
