I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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