I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
