I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
