I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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