You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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