I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
