my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
