dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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