Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
