guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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