I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
