the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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