New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
