I just threw up on my dentist
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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