All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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