I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
