If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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