At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize