You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
