You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
