Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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