Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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