is this the sara with the beer cane?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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