At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
