I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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