nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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