PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
