You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
