your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
