He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
