I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
