Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
