So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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