Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The power of my boobs compel you
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
