David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
