the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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